I don't know where that Sophia went. Somewhere in 18 years of school, sports teams, peer pressure, and social mishaps I became more serious. Life became more serious. I've been trying to be the best I can, but forgetting to enjoy the ride. However, no matter where she went, in these past few weeks play for the fun of it Sophia has started to come home.
Where ever I look, there are 10 better versions of myself. That could be depressing, the thought that no matter what I do I can't be the best. But it's actually fantastic! It makes me stop taking myself so seriously. With the millions of people in the city (and billions on the planet), I'm just a little unknown speck. So I can do whatever the heck I want with my life and it doesn't matter! If I do something extraordinary, more power to me, people will know me for a good reason. But if I don't, no one's really going to care, they're too busy with their own lives. And it's much more fun to go laughing through life than to power walk it with your nose in the air!
So I've stopped trying so hard. I've given up "risking looking like a tourist" and have started taking pictures, very cliché pictures of the Eiffel Tower and little French cafés. I've stopped trying to look like I have important things to do and have started smiling at everything. Heck, I've even given up my self restraint and have started dancing along to my music as I go on my nightly run (which is actually more like a twice-weekly run, who am I kidding, but hey, at least I try.)
I've also made an enormous step in acclimating to Paris: I found a way to meet people. After spending weekends wallowing in lonesome self pity, I finally got my act together and went out. I'd only been clubbing once before, and I figured Paris was a good place to try it again. So I found a club, got dressed up, and went. By myself. And while I really should be used to doing things on my own by now, it was still nerve wracking. But the club had a good ambiance, and the people were friendly. And although "Do you come here often?" may not be exactly quality conversation, it was still social interaction. Which I desperately, desperately needed. I realized that night that, while it might not be the same as having BFFs, just talking to someone or dancing with them for a song can make you feel a lot less alone. It was a very fun night, and I think I might check out another club soon (tomorrow night is Friday, eh?).
My actual, day to day life is not much to talk about. I read stories, walk to the park, make lunch, all with a small boy. It's fun. I'll post if we do anything super cool together =)
In the meantime, always remember to have fun!